Does Talking About Your Feelings Actually Help?

Talking about your feelings is hard. It can feel uncomfortable, vulnerable, and downright impossible. From time to time, many of us may question whether talking about our feelings is even worth it. A recent New York Times article by Eric Ravenscraft touches on the importance of talking about our problems and how important it actually is to our mental health.

Why is Talking About Your Feelings Important?

As humans, we are highly emotional beings. Throughout our days, we experience a myriad of emotions in response to ourselves and the world around us. So what happens when we don’t share our problems with others? Oftentimes, they bottle up inside of us.

In addition to being emotional, we humans are also very social. We thrive when we are able to connect meaningfully with others and feel a true sense of belonging. Having people in our lives who we can talk to and confide in is so important. This process of venting helps us to release the emotions that so easily well up inside of us. Moreover, they help us to feel understood and supported by those around us.

This process of venting can be with a variety of people. This can include close friends or family members, a significant other, a therapist, a support group, or though sharing to a larger social media community.

The Science of Talking About Our Feelings

In the article, Ravenscraft also highlights on the science that supports talking about our emotions. Specifically, affect labeling, or being able to label our emotions with words, helps to diminish the activation of our fight-flight-freeze response (Lieberman et al., 2007, as cited in Ravenscraft, 2020). Over time, this helps us to process our emotions and feel less overwhelmed when facing formerly triggering situations or things. Moreover, Ravenscraft mentions another study that stresses the importance of talk therapy for individuals who have experienced trauma, primarily with benefits to physical health and immune function (Pennebaker et al., 1988).

The main takeaway? Our emotions don’t just go away if we ignore them. They stay with us and if not processed, can put additional stress on our bodies. Finding ways to productively talk about our emotions helps us to release this weight and feel free again.

Confiding in Someone

Many of you may still be stuck on the first sentence-- “But talking about your feelings is hard!!” And you are correct. Confiding with others about our struggles and fears is a very difficult thing to do. Especially for those of us who have had negative experiences with reaching out to others, it can feel even more impossible to be able to reach out to someone.

With this, it is important to consider who you feel the most comfortable confiding in. This may be one of your personal relationships, or for some, it may be seeking out a therapist to talk with. The next step is to talk. Find a time when you feel comfortable opening up and just start talking. It will likely feel foreign at first but over time, this will become a much more natural process. In addition, work to be available to listen to and support those close people in your life. Having a relationship built on mutual trust and open communication can be deeply beneficial for both parties.

Therapy Can Help

Therapy is another option that may also be beneficial. For some, it feels easier to talk with someone who is removed from the situation and neutral, compared to opening up to someone who may be more emotionally involved with things that are going on in your life. If this is something that you feel would be helpful for you, feel free to reach out to us to get some more information on the therapy process, have your questions answered, and move forward toward scheduling!