Tips for Overcoming Heartbreak

Love--something that can be so magical, yet so painful. While heartbreak is something experienced by most of us at some point in our lives, it can make us feel completely isolated and misunderstood. Especially with Valentine’s Day around the corner, your single status may feel even more glaring. How do you move on from a break-up? Will things ever get better?

Moving on After a Break-Up

Whether expected or a surprise, breakups can cause a slew of disruption and uncertainty. Especially for long-term or committed relationships, losing your significant other can feel like you have lost a part of yourself. You probably find yourself questioning your life and all of the plans you had laid out so perfectly. Everyone around you is probably telling you that things will get better, but you don’t believe them. How could you EVER get over this?

Tip #1: Spend Time With Others

In the aftermath of a break-up, all you probably want is to be left alone. It is easy to isolate when going through a tough time. However, it is critical to be around your loved ones during this time. Spending time with others can help to take your mind off of the break-up, build connections with others, and help you to have some fun. So pick up your phone and call your friends, family, or whoever you feel the most comfortable being around.

Tip #2: Do Things That Make You Happy

What are your hobbies? What are things that you enjoy doing? Whatever it is that you enjoy, go do it! Taking time out of your schedule to do something that makes you happy is so important. These activities give you a goal to work on, and help you to build your own sense of identity. If you don’t have a hobby or interest, don’t be afraid to go out and try new things. Take a class, go to an event, pick up something that you never have before and give it a try.

Tip #3: Resist the Urge to Cyber-Stalk

Do. Not. Click. On. Their. Profile. Cyber-stalking, or compulsively checking and re-checking your ex’s social media page(s) is something that a lot of people do to “keep tabs” on what their ex is doing. Don’t fall into this trap. While it may seem harmless-- I’m just checking, it’s no big deal-- it is not a healthy behavior to fall into. You can quickly find yourself absorbed in social media and your ex’s profile, reading into every single thing that they post (or don’t). The thing is, seeing how miserable, or happy, your ex is will not help you to feel better. Conversely, it may even make you feel worse, and who wants that? Stay off your social media during this time. Resist the urge to check on your ex’s profile, or even unfriend/unfollow them if you need to.

Tip #4: Build a Relationship With Yourself

Break-ups can be a great opportunity for a whole lot of self exploration. It gives you the chance to get some space and really think about what you want for your life. Moreover, it gives you the time and the freedom to build one of the most important relationships--the one with yourself. So often, we neglect ourselves. We focus all of our energy on others and ignore our own wants and needs. Now it’s time to flip the script. Focus on yourself and what it is that you need right now.

Tip #5: Go to Therapy

It is normal to feel really down after a break-up. However, you should start to feel a little better, day by day. If you find yourself unable to carry out your normal tasks throughout the day, or you feel significantly depressed for an extended period of time, reach out for help. You deserve to be happy and feel comfortable with yourself.

Heartbreaks are heartbreaking. There will be days that are really difficult and there are days that you will feel okay. The main solution is to just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Follow these tips and know that you are worthy of happiness and you can be happy by yourself. Be patient with yourself as you heal, and know that things can and will get better in time--even if it doesn’t feel like it will.

Hudson Therapy is a Westchester county counseling practice located in White Plains, NY. Our team of therapists provide individual therapy for children, as well as teens and adults.